"They're Popping Up Like Daisy's"

Well, howdy their friends of mine. I realize that it has been quite some time since a post so no need to point it out. I found my heart so full of anger these past five to seven days. I believe a lot of the anger was my eating disorder surfacing after a long slumber of hibernation while being away from home. You now in the movie Mulan when the dragon is in the mountain fighting the bad guys/soldiers? And Mulan and little dragon think that they have killed the bad guys by covering them up with the snow…but soon they start popping up from the ground and little dragon guy yells to Mulan, "They're popping up like daisy's!" That is how I picture my eating disorder, popping up like daisy's or maybe in this case weeds. Now when I say this I don't mean I have gone full blown back into symptoms but I am in an environment where my ed would like nothing more than to act on behaviors and when someone tells the eating disorder no they are in for a rude awaking because whelp they have waken the grizzly bear. In result of the support and accountability and conviction that I have been receiving over these few weeks of being home my eating disorder has retaliated with hatred and anger towards anyone and everyone in my way. Unfortunately, the majority of the time that would be my parents and bless their hearts for having to sit through the hail storm and wrath of Caitlan's angry eating disorder. Maybe send a few prayers up for them to the big man upstairs :)

I spent the weekend in Austin and it was pure joy. What a refreshing weekend it was getting to spend so much quality time with my gorgeous friends and loving family. It was a reminder from God that I have not been replaced nor forgotten and although things in my life have changed that doesn't mean friendships have to change either, unless it's for the better. I was able to attend Austin Stone on Sunday with my sister and it was SO SO SO good. Y'all God has just been blowing my mind away to unreal heights. I'm not going to sit here and try to summarize the sermon because it was so good that I think you need to hear it for yourself. I have a lot I want to say about it and a lot I want to share with you about what God's teaching me and revealing to me but I'm going to put that on hold for now. I pray that you take the time to listen to this sermon. Don't let it freak you out but just give it a chance. I have hyperlinked it to the post at the bottom so all you have to do is click on it and then click play. Listen to it in increments if you think that will be easier for you. I just felt this tugging on my heart through the entire service on Sunday morning to post it on my blog. I don't know if the tug was for a specific person to hear the message or just to give someone the curiosity about what a sermon may sound like but I am going to be obedient to this heart tug.

Listen to it. Don't listen to it. Either way I love you and won't judge you for it nor will I know if you listened to it or not but of course, would love to hear from you if you do decide to play it. I am going to do some more blogging tomorrow night or Wednesday about what God showed me through the sermon but in the mean time I am going to be spending some much needed time with Jesus and my Bible. I've been slacking and it's been coming out in the form of an angry bear and a soldier popping up like a daisy.

Be good. Stay sweet and happy listening.

love.love.love

The Temptation of Christ