Take this for example:
What on earth is that side scarf thing that she has going on there? But yet she is wearing it flawlessly and confidently so she can get away with this odd outfit. Am I wrong?
So picture Carrie Bradshaw sitting at her computer with her cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette (obviously before she quit) and typing away her newspaper columns discussing things far more inappropriate than I'll ever be writing and ask yourself (because I too ask myself this very question), 'what is she thinking writing all about her dating and relationship life for the entire city of Manhatten to read?' I mean come on it has to be journaling suicide to sit down and type out her bedroom life and dating mishaps for all to read. Yet she does it anyway and believe it or not she still manages to get date after date after date and drama comes with each date so she can still write her column and even goes on to write a few books. Phew! It must be exhausting playing a fictional character on a NON reality TV series, huh?
My point to all of this? There is something about writing that is powerful. Powerful in the sense that someone is willing to sit down and pour out their heart and emotions and transform them from just thoughts jumbled up in the mind and soul into a story that empacts far more than one will ever know. Whether you are writing for a city, state, yourself or to whomever may be interested you are choosing to acknowledge that your thoughts, experiences, life and feelings are worth being noticed and stored somewhere that can never be taken away. Our words that we so strategically place on paper is a story for others to read and for others to experience. We all have different backgrounds, different up bringings and different beliefs, that is how the creator of the universe intended it to be. We are all unique in our own ways and we all have a voice that is ready to speak about different things. That is the beauty of life, that we can speak up and so openly pour out our souls onto pen and paper or onto a keyboard.
I choose to blog because for me it is an outlet. Some may dislike the topics I choose and some may disagree with my beliefs but that's okay because my voice is being projected to those whom it needs to get to. I choose to write about Jesus because I think so many have a false view of Christians. We struggle, we aren't perfect and we mess up daily. There is no such thing as a good or bad Christian. We are all sinners but we are also saved by His grace and made pure in His eyes. I choose to blog about eating disorders because I believe that too many don't talk about it. I believe that there are many eating disorder stigma's that cause confusion and doubt for those who are suffering and even those who aren't. I believe that most people choose to talk about their eating disorders and struggles after they have over come them verses while they are in the struggles tight grip. By choosing to talk about journey of breaking the chains you are able to show others that the road is long and bumpy, even for Christians and it isn't an enjoyable experience of a one time prayer and poof we are cured and love life! It's work, hard work but Jesus never leaves our side, not once. He knows. He knows your heart, whether you yourself know Him or not, He knows you.
My name is Caitlan Salerno. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was a junior in high school. I am now 21 years old and still deep in the eating disorder. Over the years I have gained other symptoms including depression, anxiety and self harm. I have lost friends, gained friends, caused family problems, became inactive from my sorority, withdrew from school, failed classes, dropped classes, skipped work, quit work and fallen away from God. I have pushed away the people in my life that care and love me the most. I spent eight weeks in a treatment center in Denver, Colorado and am now back home in Dallas living with my parents at getting treatment at a center here. It has been six weeks of me doing IOP (intensive outpatient program) and I am still struggling. But over the years one thing that I am certain of is God has kept His promises to me, I haven't necessarily seen them followed through BUT He hasn't broken them. It is only by His grace that I am still choosing to fight this battle. It is only because of Him that I am sitting here today and writing about my journey. I give Him ALL glory and credit for the work that has been accomplished over the years. If I did not have Jesus Christ in my life I would be hopeless, absolutely hopeless.
I choose to write to spread the hope that I have in Jesus with each and every person that encounters my blog and each person I come in contact with personally. I choose to write to raise awareness, to spread courage, fight, love and determination. I choose to write because my voice is important, my thoughts and feelings are important and I believe that there is beauty through every trial and tribulation. I may not see the beauty as I trudge through the dirt but if one person is able to get a glimpse of the beauty than I have done my job as a child of Christ and that right there is enough to keep me moving forward.
I encourage you to write, ask questions, express your concerns, thoughts and fears. Share your story with whomever it may be and be confident in the fact that there are people out there who will have an ear to listen. I am grateful for you choosing to follow and read my story. Take a seat, drink some coffee and bask in the great news that with God ANYTHING is possible.
love.love.love
Caitlan Salerno
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