At a Cross Road

I have been sitting in Dominican Joe's for the last hour and a half attempting to make a new blog or website. Talk about a huge waste of time. I don't know why I feel so compelled to create a new one when I have one that works just fine already. I have found myself recently questioning why I blog. Am I just thriving for attention or am I trying to change someone else's life when I can't even fix my own? Am I using this as a soap box or am I desperately seeking for love from others when what I'm looking for only comes through Christ? What is my point of this thing? It feels as if I just go in circles when writing in it. I write when I have an insight of good and when I have an insight of bad and it cycles around like that over and over again.

Blogging is something I enjoy, it's a release for me but I can't tell if there is a point to it or not. I guess I thought if I started over with a brand new shiny blog then I could start my story over, start fresh how I choose to write or how I choose to share things. Maybe be more honest or maybe not even mention my struggles. Maybe I just talk about what Jesus is teaching me or maybe I only talk about crafting. Who knows? I can word vomit when I write but I want to write with a purpose and I don't know if that is what it looks like to others. I visualize in my brain what I want to write and how I want it to look but it never comes across that way when I create a new post.

I'm at a crossroads and it isn't a blogging crossroads. I've reached a place where I can continue forward, make a left, make a right or turn around. Currently I'm standing still, staring into each direction and trying to figure out what would happen if I chose that direction. It doesn't work like that though. You choose a road based on faith and that is what I'm searching for as I sit and wait to move. I want to blog about my life paths and choices and turns, some have been wrong and some have been correct but they have lead me to where I am now and I want to put words to my emotions and thoughts. But like I said I'm questioning my purpose in blogging. My purpose in sharing what I have to share and whether or not there is a point to it anymore.

For now I can only pray that God will take hold of my heart and gently lead me to where He wants me to be and if it is His will for me to share where that is, then so be it.