Waiting Rooms

Waiting rooms. Seriously, who likes them? You're either waiting to get test results back, a stab in the meatiest part of your thigh or have a dentist scrape of plaque and filth from your teeth. They all look the same too. Chair and couches along the walls, a fake plant or two on each side of the room and a coffee table with a few magazines (normally they are magazines like, "Moms" or "Readers Digest". If your lucky they throw in a "US Today" or maybe even a "People"). There is always classical music in the background or the station that chants, "The best music from the 80's, 90's and today". I'm not sure how that works now though considering its 2010, "The best music from the 90's, 2000's and today"? Weird. But anyway you catch my drift. They are uncomfortable rooms with stale air and a scent that either reminds you of a nursing home or the perfume section in the mall. Whenever you first walk in everybody looks up from whatever it is they are messing with, phones, magazines, books, kids, nails, whatever it may be and stare at you as you walk to the receptionist get handed a mound of paperwork and then told it's going to be an hour wait once you have the paper filled out...in other words go ahead and cancel any plans you had for the day. The chair you sit in is uncomfortable, you start counting the ticks of the second hand, the person sitting next to you is either sniffing their nose or smacking on their gum and all you can think about is what is going to happen on the other side of that swinging door. We've all been there multiple times. Waiting rooms are just not fun no matter how you look at it. For me I get anxious which then causes me to become antsy, talk to fast, sweat profusely and my heart rate to rapidly shoot through the roof. I'm not so good with the unknown and with whatever kind of waiting room you are in there is always that small chance of learning something or finding out something you weren't planning on. Or you might hear something that you were just hoping and praying wouldn't be the case OR you know what is going to happen once your name is called but you are uncertain how you are going to handle the situation once you can leave and return to your normal life. Don't get me wrong though, good things, AMAZING things can happen after waiting your time in the awkward room but I'm talking about the butterflies that are let loose from their cage before you hear the good news, I'm talking about the waiting period.

If you go back a few entries I wrote about how God was teaching me so much this summer. How He has been teaching me many different pieces of a puzzle, a life lesson that I was still unclear of. Well praise God because today He put the final piece of the puzzle in place and let me tell you it is a glorious master piece. This beautiful picture is not what I was planning on for this summer but now that I have heard what God wanted me to hear I couldn't be more happy that this is what He showed me. Friends, I have been fighting myself all summer to figure out what God wanted me to hear, what He wanted me to do with my life, what church He wanted me to go to and how to live contently with who I am but every answer was foggy. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. I was envisioning things but I couldn't tell if what I was thinking was my selfish thoughts or if it was God talking to me. I was having trouble deciphering my thoughts and what I wanted and what God wanted. I have been getting so angry at myself because I just KNEW I had to be doing something wrong to not hear God and to not experience a life changing event or summer or anything. All summer I have been reading the Bible, doing His work and truly searching to better understand myself as someone who only wants to live a life for Him but still all I heard was silence. That awkward waiting room silence, that uneasy feeling of waiting to hear your name called. You keep hearing other peoples name called but for some reason you think they forgot about you or keep putting others in front of you. That feeling that you can only read one magazine so many times before you burst from restlessness.

Sweet friends, my puzzle that God has made and completed before me this summer is a waiting room. And I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to hear this. There is nothing wrong with me, God has not passed me up and has not forgotten about me on His list. It just isn't my turn to be called back into His office yet, He wants me to continue sitting and reading the Bible, He wants me to continue being patient and listening to the music in the background until HIS list has my name at the top. But in His waiting room the only clock is a clock with no second hand and no minute hand and no numbers on it, it is a clock of seasons. Seasons of drought, wealth, struggles, laughs, cries, doubt, questions and confidence. When it is my season and my turn to be called, I trust that He will call my name, take my hand and walk me through the door to the unknown. He will clearly speak to me and I will have no question of whether it is His idea or mine. He may tell me something I don't want to hear or maybe He and I have the same idea in mind but whatever it may be I will be prepared because He had me waiting for the perfect amount of time. He knows when it's my time and when I am ready, not me. My job is to trust Him and continue preparing my heart and learning about His all so powering love in the waiting room.