Well I have survived, hardly but I have survived. It is now 8:00pm on Thursday evening and my huge week is just about over. I still need to do my math extra credit paper (2 pages big whoop) but I need about 5 minutes to myself so I will blog. I have alot I want to get out and say...who would have thought that I think all the time? Hang in there for this one if you can.
I want to start by mentioning a short and simple yet extremelly powerful sentence I wrote in my last entry. The second I reread it to check for grammer (not) but to make sure it sounded somewhat decent this sentence stood out like a sore thumb. I am quoting myself,
"I haven't lost the feeling of guilt, shame, and hatred though. Those three still remain"
Now lets quote a more reliable source rather myself...
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
- 1 Corinthians 13:13
How is it even possible for me to creat a sentence that is parallel to scripture using such hurtful words? Love. The greatest of those words is love. Right now if I could without completley embarassing myself I would stand on this table (on the Union patio) and yell at the top of my lungs... "WHERE IS THE LOVE?", yes sorta like the Hansen song. I can quote that song for you but for now I will refrain. But for real, where is the love? Do people feel love, the type of love that makes you feel comfort and acceptance or do they only feel the romantic love? Do people know where to look for love? If so where does this girl sitting at the table to the left of me look for it? Does she look for love in a sinful way or does she truly know where she can find it? What about the homeless group that sits at the corner by the Subway...what do they call love? Is love to them the person who gives them the dime or is love to them when they take a hit or drink the beer? Or maybe they know about true true love, the kind that never leaves. I am curious to what people perceive love as.
Where is love? What is love? How do you find it? How do you fill yourself with it? Is it possible to have too much love? Is it possible to not be loved at all?
I can answer all of those questions right now, right this minute. But I am going to hold back for a little and really think about them before I jump to answering them because I need to make sure that I believe what I know the answer to be. I am filling my "love" holes with worldly things that I think will warm me...they don't. I feel loved but not by the person I want it the most from...but I will wait paitently. Love is sitting right next to me...but am I willing to reach out and hold on to it? Can you have too much love? I don't think so...but it's hard to answer when you don't feel completley loved.
So I challenge you to stare love in the face tonight, tomorrow, the next day...whenever! What are you staring at? Is it really love? Are you telling yourself that what you are looking as is the real deal? Do you feel loved and by what? What is making you feel loved? I like to tell myself that by not eating I will love myself more...that isn't how it works, I promise because if it was how love worked I wouldn't be doing the things I am doing to myself. So what will truly make me feel loved? What is the one word that can lead you to the answer to all of those questions? I'll give you a few hints...
- It's a noun.
- Three letter word.
- And this word will NEVER, let me repeat, NEVER fail you.
So until next time enjoy your weekend, enjoy the weather and remember you (yes you) are loved. Be good, be smart and love one another the way YOU would want to be loved.
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