Sunday, April 3, 2011

Part 4: School
And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:5

Alright friends go on ahead and pat yourselves on the back for making it to this point in my, what seems like, a never ending journey. I am going to make this as short and sweet as possible because personally I am ready to move on to some other topics, not that Jesus isn't fun and entertaining but you get my drift.

In result of figuring out some of my root issues, facing them straight on, leaving my wonderful sisters from Phi Lamb and finding my true self amidst layers of lies I decided to withdraw from school. Yes, I said it. Go ahead and ooohhh and ahhh all you want, it won't bother me. I am confident in my decision and although I get random waves of regret they come and go and life moves on.

So at the start of all these "parts" I mentioned how God has totally flipped my life around. Well, now you know what I mean. If I continue school in the fall I will be a fifth year senior running my victory lap. I don't know what God has in store for me these last weeks of the semester and for the summer. I do know that He wants me to find myself in nothing but Him, which is why He has stripped me clean of EVERYTHING. No Sky Ranch this summer, maybe no summer school, no planning for Phi Lamb and no searching for doctors. God has given me Himself, that is what I need, nothing else. I am off to discover myself in Austin, Texas and wherever God may lead me. I'm not tied down to anything and haven't felt this "free" in a long time.

Funny how God put on my heart obedience for my word of the year. Never before 2011 would I have thought twice about taking a break from school or leaving Phi Lamb. Go on ahead and ask anyone you want, I dismissed those suggestions like nobodies business. I am not worried about school or what is going to happen in the future. I'm not worried about my so-called "life plan" is basically shot to hell and I'm not worried what God is doing with my life. I trust Him. By the grace of God I've made it this far and changes that I can visibly see are being made and that means God is doing a work in my life. Will it be uphill from here? Probably not. I still have my bad days, terrible days and good days. I still have my negative thoughts and frustrations toward everything and everyone in the world but then I wake up in the morning and get another chance. Thank you Jesus.

Okay and side note: I know there are more than 12 of y'all following me so go on ahead and put on your big girl panties on and let me know you are following by becoming a visible follower! I like to know who I am writing to. And I would LOVE to know what you are thinking in response to my posts. So leaving comments would be so appreciated. You can leave them anonymously if you don't want your identity shown but this is a judgement free zone so don't be shy. I don't bite :) Have a great Sunday.

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